


only miss you when i'm breathing

by siojo



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Flower meanings, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Secrets, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 06:22:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13541571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siojo/pseuds/siojo
Summary: Ace coughs, covering his mouth and blinking in confusion when he feels something strange and almost like paper in his mouth, pulling it out once the fit subsided, the small, splotched blue and white petal in his hand.“That’s a flower petal,” Rayleigh says slowly, almost sounding uncertain. “Ace, are-did you?”in which ace has hanahaki and marco and sabo might not know what's going on, but they're worried.





	only miss you when i'm breathing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [authenticaussie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/authenticaussie/gifts).



> authenticaussie said:  
> whispers a hanahaki au? And the black mark, if you want from the soul mate au? Or the hot/cold one ;w; ////and mas for my soul ofc pfffft
> 
> So, because nari asked, have hanahaki MAS.

Ace can feel his lungs burning, pain beyond what he had been expecting forcing him to take shallow breaths as he waited for the doctor to call his name. Luffy had insisted he make an appointment when he hadn't been able to breathe after the last time they had raced to the store at the corner. Even worse, he had lost because he couldn't breathe, the pain too much to keep moving through-

 

"Ace Portgas?" the nurse asks, standing in front of the doorway. "Follow me."

 

"Yes ma'am," Ace agrees, hiding a wince as his lungs keep burning, following behind her as she leads the way to one of the back exam rooms. "Aren't-"

 

Law glances up from where he's taken a seat on the chair beside the exam table, "Sit down, Ace. Luffy asked me to take care of you personally."

 

"Great, doctor creepy is going to help me," Ace mutters sitting down. "My favorite person in the world."

 

"Sarcasm isn't going to make you feel better," Law states moving his stethoscope from around his neck. "Luffy says that you've been having trouble breathing? When did that start happening?"

 

"About two weeks ago. Before that it was a little harder to take deep breaths."

 

"When did that start?" Law demands. "When did the very first time you couldn't breath occur? When it hurt your lungs or taking normal breaths started to be painful?"

 

"Almost a month," Ace admits finally, sighing and wincing when it hurts. "It's been about a month since the first time that I really noticed it, at least."

 

Law frowns at him, but nods. "Take your shirt off; I want to hear your lungs. If they're causing that much pain then something might be making it too hard to breathe," Ace nods, tugging off his shirt and following Law's orders to breathe. "One more time."

 

"You're hearing something wrong, aren't you?" Ace asks finally, when Law has taken off the stethoscope and put it back around his neck, sitting back down in his seat. He's always been worried about his lungs with how his father had died, which is why he was trying to ignore it as long as he could.

 

'We'll need to get x-rays, but I think that I know what it is," Law agrees tiredly. "I would like to see if I'm right before I discuss it with you, if that's all right?"

 

Ace shrugs. "Sure, go ahead and let's do this."

 

Law smirks, it looks far more fake than Ace has ever seen on the other man, even when Luffy was at his most annoying and demanding. "Bepo will take you to get them done and bring you back."

 

Bepo is polite and not very talkative as he escorts Ace to the x-ray room and takes them, humming thoughtfully to himself as he looks them over before escorting him back to Law. Law accepts the x-rays, looking them over as Ace sits back down.

 

"I was right," Law sighs, setting the x-rays down and finally looking directly at him.

 

"You were?"

 

"I know what's wrong with you and there are options. It's called Hanahaki."

 

Ace swallows. "And that is?"

 

"Hanahaki is a disease. We don't know much about it even now. Some of what we do know is that it affects certain people when they fall into what they believe is unrequited love. It will even affect them if they won't admit that they are in love at that time. It starts with trouble breathing and then you start coughing up flower petals."

 

"Flowers? I have flowers growing in my lungs?"

 

"That's not entirely incorrect; they’re in your lungs but to my understanding they’re more connected to your heart. There's a few options for what will happen. The first option is to leave it untreated and make no attempts to make or find out if the other is in love with you; if you make that choice, doing absolutely nothing,  then you’ll die. Next, we can surgically remove the flowers from you; however, if we do, you won't ever feel anything for that person ever again." Law pauses. "The last option is either having them fall in love with you or find out if they're in love with you and it's not going to kill you at all, it’ll reverse the process and cure itself."

 

"You've got to be kidding me," Ace mutters, his face in his hands. "There are really no other options?"

 

"We could just let you die, but I'm fairly certain that you don't want to do this to Luffy, do you?" Law shoots back at him. "We have time. As long as you aren't coughing up flower petals yet, that means that it's still fairly early. You should be able to take the next month or two to make your choices."

 

"There's a ‘but’ there."

 

"You'll have to come in for appointments every week. I want to monitor the growth of this to make sure that you don't lose time because it's growing faster than we thought," Law continues like Ace never spoke. "Ace, for official records,we do need to know who it is. The records will be sealed but if you get the surgery, we have to brief them on why you're emotionally distant afterwards."

 

Ace glances down at his hands, "Marco." He can hear Law make a soft sound. "And Sabo. Both of them."

 

"You never could do something simple, could you," Law sighs, leaning his face on his hand. "Don't do anything stupid, and you are going to call me when you start to cough up petals, are we clear? If not, I'll have them put you in the hospital now."

 

"Can I have Luffy call you instead?"

 

Law pauses. "I can accept that. Ace, you need to start considering your choices; it's important for us to have a plan."

 

"I know, I'll keep you up to date. Was there anything else?"

 

"Take this." Ace accepts the prescription from Law, eyebrow raising slightly. "It's a pain medicine. From what I know of hanahaki, and this is the first case that I've seen in person, it gets more painful the longer it goes on. And Ace," Ace hums softly. "You need to tell Luffy; he's not going to react well to this if he doesn't understand."

 

"I'll see what I can do, Doc." Ace shrugs his shirt back on. "Thanks for the medication. If anyone asks, I'll tell them that I'm coming down with something. Except my boss, I'll let them know."

 

"Take care. And Portgas," Ace almost feels better to have Law no longer sounding so worried about him. "Don't do something stupid."

 

* * *

  
  


"Ace!" Luffy bounces, throwing himself at Ace the second he stepped back into the apartment, arms wrapping around his shoulders tightly. "You're back! What did Traffy say? Are you sick? Did he give you medicine to make you all better? Chopper," Luffy snatches the paper bag with his medicine out of his hands. "What does this do?"

 

Chopper, Ace glances at all of Luffy's friends sprawled across the living room, takes the bag gently, reading over the paperwork that Ace had gotten with it, "It's pain medicine. It doesn't have any real properties beyond that."

 

"That's no good! Traffy should have given you medicine to make it better!”

 

“Luffy,” Ace bites the inside of his cheek when Luffy stops like he knows that Ace is going to say something horrible. “Can I talk to you for a minute? Law, Law had some information for me about what is going on.”

 

“But if Traffy knows what’s wrong, then Traffy can fix it,” Luffy says stubbornly. “But he didn’t give you anything to fix it.”

 

Ace sighs, coughing when it makes his lungs start to scream, “Lu, it’s not as simple as that; will you let me explain?”

 

“Should we give you some space?” Zoro asks, leaning back over the couch enough to glance at them both curiously. “We can step out and grab some food if you think you need the privacy.”

 

“Please,” Ace asks softly. “We just need a few minutes.”

 

Luffy looks betrayed as his friends slowly filter out, pouting at them as they leave, and only reacting when Zoro drops a hand to his shoulder and whispers something to him. Ace doesn’t know what he says but Luffy deflates a little bit and grabs his hat, twisting it in his hands. He doesn’t look up until Zoro closes the door behind him.

 

“Zoro says that I’m supposed to let you talk,” Luffy mutters, quickly glancing back down at his hat. “He said that Traffy was a good doctor and wouldn’t let you go if he didn’t figure out what was wrong with your breathing.”

 

“Come on, let’s sit down,” Ace says, moving to the armchair, Luffy dropping onto the couch without a hint of his usual levity. “Hey, Lu, look at me.”

 

“No, I don’t wanna.”

 

“Luffy-,”

 

“No,” Luffy repeats, ducking his head down more to avoid his eyes. “I don’t wanna look at you because you’re gonna say you’re dying and I’m gonna cry and you’re gonna tell me not to and,” Luffy sniffs, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t want you to die!”

 

“Oh no, Luffy,” Ace moves closer, kneeling down in front of him. “Hey, no. Look at me, Lu, come on. Don’t start crying before I even start talking; I’m not sick like my dad.”

 

“You’re not?” Luffy asks softly.

 

Ace nods, “I’m not sick like my dad was, Lu. I’m a different kind of sick; can I tell you what’s going on now?”

 

“Are you gonna die?” Luffy demands, eyes still red rimmed and close to tears. “I don’t want you to die, you’re not allowed to!”

 

“Okay, I promise that I won’t die. I can’t leave you all alone, can I?” Luffy sniffles, nodding. “All right. Can I tell you what Doc Creepy told me?”

 

“Traffy’s not creepy.”

 

“I’m sure that you think that, Lu,” Ace shifts up to brush Luffy’s hair from his face. “It’s called Hanahaki and it can kill people, but there’s options. I can try and cure it or have it cut out and that will keep me from dying.”

 

“You’ve got the bad flowers?” Luffy demands, eyes searching as if he’ll be able to see them, even though they haven’t even started causing Ace to cough up petals. “Who gave Ace the bad flowers?”

 

Ace laughs, cutting himself off when the pain becomes too much and he starts coughing instead, “No one can give me hanahaki, Luffy, it doesn’t work like that. Hanahaki comes around because I fell in love with someone that doesn’t love me back.”

 

“Why not? Ace is the best; everyone should love you.”

 

“That’s not how it works, Lu and you know it. I fell in love and they don’t love me,” Ace says softly. “So I’m going to either get the surgery to take the flowers out or see if they love me.”

 

“And if they don’t love you? Does that mean you’ll die before they take the flowers out?”

 

“No, I only die if I don’t do anything about the flowers. If I don’t have them fall in love with me or get them removed, that’s when I’ll die.”

 

Luffy nods softly, still looking sad, “And if you get them removed, what does that do?”

 

“I won’t love them anymore. I can’t ever love them again; they won’t mean anything to me.”

 

“But,” Luffy pauses. “That’s not fair. Just because they don’t love you doesn’t mean the bad flowers should take away how much you love them. I don’t like the bad flowers; why can’t they be good flowers?”

 

“Because that’s not how it works,” Ace grins. “Do you feel better now? I’m not going to die and I’m not going to leave you all alone. I promise okay?”

 

“I thought Traffy would make you all better. It’s not fair that Traffy can’t make you all better. I wanted you to come home all better,” Luffy mutters. “What did Traffy say you would have to do? He didn’t just give you the medicine, did he?”

 

“Law says that I have to call him when I start coughing up petals, but I have a month or two to see what I’m going to do. And,” Ace adds because it’s obvious that Luffy doesn’t like that. “I have to go and see Law every week to make sure that it hasn’t gotten worse.”

 

“Are you gonna tell them? The person that gave you the bad flowers?”

 

“That’s still not how it works, Luffy, and I’m going to think about it. They’re going to have to live with this if I tell them and I don’t think it’s fair for them to suffer like that if they don’t love me. I won’t care after the surgery, but it still seems like a lot to put on them.”

 

Luffy looks like he wants to argue, but doesn’t, “But you’re not going to die, right?”

 

“I’ll pinky swear if you want me to, Lu,” Ace promises. “I’m not going to die, I’m going to stay here.”

 

“Ace?” Ace raises an eyebrow, catching Luffy’s eye. “Do you, can you tell me who they are?”

 

Ace blinks slowly, “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Luffy. What are you going to do when you find out? I don’t want them to know and I don’t want them to feel guilty until I have no other choice. If they know, then they’ll try and force themselves to love me and that’s not fair.”

 

“It’s not fair; they should love you.”

 

“People don’t fall in love just because you want them to,” Ace says softly, feeling like he’s repeated this before. “Come on, I’m sure your friends will be back soon, I’ll go-”

 

“No, Ace should spend time with us,” Luffy insists, grabbing Ace’s arm. “Please?”

 

“Alright, Lu, I’ll stay.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Ace takes a breath, rubbing his arm as he waits for the director to have a free moment to speak with him, rocking back on his heels as the rest of the hospital staff hurries past him and nodding to the other nurses who wave at him.

 

“Ace,” Rayleigh says waving him into his office. “I’m a little surprised that you asked for a meeting. You never needed one before; is something wrong?”

 

“I’m going to have to start taking fewer shifts,” Ace admits after a long moment of silence, hands gripping his scrubs tightly. “And I will probably have to take medical leave in a few months.”

 

“Ace, are you-”

 

Ace coughs, covering his mouth and blinking in confusion when he feels something strange and almost like paper in his mouth, pulling it out once the fit subsided, the small, splotched blue and white petal in his hand.

 

“That’s a flower petal,” Rayleigh says slowly, almost sounding uncertain. “Ace, are-did you?”

 

“Law says that I have hanahaki. I just wanted to give you a heads up because I know that the petals are going to become frequent and I can’t exactly prep or keep things surgically clean if I’m coughing up flowers. And I’ll need to get them removed, which means I’m going to have surgery.”

 

“You’re not going to try and see if it will be returned,” Rayleigh asks almost sadly. “You’re just going to get them removed?”

 

“I doubt that they will care about me like that. And I can’t just let it kill me, I promised Luffy that I wouldn’t die and I can’t break that promise. Since they can’t love me, I know they can’t, I’m going to do what’s best for me in this respect.”

 

Rayleigh stares at him for a long moment before sighing, “You’re too stubborn, Ace, just like your mother.”

 

“I thought you would compare me to my dad.”

 

“No,” Rayleigh huffs and it might have been a laugh, but Ace doesn’t know for certain. “In this case, I do mean your mother. She was stubborn and she wouldn’t let anyone change her mind once she set out to do something.”

 

Ace smiles softly; it was always nice when people spoke of his mother, since she had died not too long after his birth. “Thanks.”

 

“It’s not a compliment. I’m putting you on paid leave, to keep your health up and to give you time to set all your affairs in order. The surgery is still as dangerous as any other surgery; I don’t want you to die on the table, but you should spend more time with your loved ones. Even if you aren’t going to care about some of them afterwards.”

 

“You’re going to read my records, aren’t you? Once you get a hold of Law to find out who it is.”

 

“You know that I am. I’m still one of you medical proxies and if they work here, I want to make sure that it doesn’t cause any issues within the hospital.”

 

Ace snorts, rolling his eyes, “Fine. Thanks, for the time off and, you know, everything.”

 

“You’re welcome. Now get, brat, I have work to do. Just clock out instead of going to lunch, okay?”

 

“I will,” Ace agrees. “Have a good day.”

 

“You to, brat, if anything happens, you’ll get a call, don’t worry too much.”

 

Ace laughs, because he is going to worry. He worries too much and he knows that; he’s always worried too much. He waves off any more of Rayleigh’s concern, heading back to the locker room to clear out for the day.

 

“I thought you were pulling another sixteen hour shift,” Vista teases, pulling on his scrubs. “Or did you get yelled at for being too tired to prep again?”

 

“I’m on leave for a bit,” Ace says pulling out his things and carefully hiding that he’s emptying his locker. “Just for a couple weeks, family stuff.”

 

“I hope that it all turns out okay,” Vista says looking concerned and Ace feels far too guilty for his lies, but it has to be better than telling them the truth and letting them know. “You’ll let me know if you need anything right? We’re friends and Pops loves you.”

 

“I’ll keep you up to date,” Ace promises, fingers crossed behind his back, because he won’t. “I’ll see you around.”

 

“Keep safe!”

 

Ace hurries out the building, not wanting to be stopped again, darting quietly towards where he had promised to have lunch with Marco and Sabo, the two of them already seated at the table that they normally tried to claim in the park.

 

“You’re early!” Sabo says waving at him. “I thought your lunch didn’t start for another twenty minutes?”

 

“Rayleigh sent me home early, I guess I’ve been overworking myself, so he’s giving me more time off,” Ace lies because that’s what this is going to be. One lie after another to keep if all from collapsing in on him until it’s time. “I haven’t have time off in while, so it’s nice.”

 

Marco leans over the table, hand going to Ace’s forehead, “You don’t feel sick at least.”

 

Ace laughs, hiding a grimace when it turns into a cough, the soft feeling of something landing on his tongue, another petal. It feels weird and he waits until they’re both turned around to quickly swipe it from his mouth. “Hair.”

 

“That’s what you get for having such long hair,” Marco teases having turned back around faster than Ace thought he would. “You and Sabo both have too much hair; no wonder it’s constantly getting in your mouth.”

 

“That’s only the second time that it’s happened,” Ace pouts glancing down at his hand to find a yellow and blue petal, nose wrinkling in annoyance. “What did you two bring? I know I brought leftovers from dinner, but what about you?”

 

“Marco made it,” Sabo whispers conspiratorially, glancing over at Marco. “He’s a decent enough cook, but the last time he made something he also made us both sick.”

 

“I’m still a better cook than you,” Marco states pointing his fork at Sabo. “Even Ace remembers the last time you were allowed to cook.”

 

“How dare I be slandered by my own boyfriend,” Sabo states, gasping in fake horror. “Do you hear this, Ace?”

 

“The last time you cooked, Luffy got food poisoning,” Ace says grinning at the look of betrayal that Sabo shoots at him. “If you can give Luffy food poisoning then your cooking is shit.”

 

“I have been betrayed by everyone that I love and care for. I have never felt so upset before in my life,” Sabo states, frowning at them both. “You’re so horrible to me.”

 

“Your food does horrible to my stomach,” Ace returns, smirking when Sabo draws himself back up looking so offended that it makes him want to laugh. “Doesn’t it, Marco?”

 

Marco hums, “I think it does. I’ve never had such bad food poisoning in my life.”

 

“I’m going to replace you both with something cute and fluffy, a puppy maybe.”

 

Ace bites his lip and tries not to imagine what will happen after the surgery because Ace won’t care about Sabo and Marco then, he wouldn’t have lunch with them and all that will be left are the memories of those feelings, something that he’ll never get back. It hurts, that he’ll lose even their friendship, but he promised Luffy and he can’t bring himself to lie and die when he could still live like his little brother wanted him to.

 

“Ace?” Marco asks softly. “You okay? You’re looking a little off color.”

 

“I’m just tired,” Ace lies because he’s not really tired, not the way that Marco will take this. “I’m sure that other then that, I think I’ll be okay. Are we still going to the movies tomorrow?”

 

He’s doing this to himself. He’s making this harder for himself but he’s already going to get this removed, he might as well keep them for as long as he can. He can only hope that they will forgive him for this when it’s all over.

 

“Unless you aren’t feeling well enough to go,” Sabo agrees easily. “It’s going to be fun, we picked the best movie that’s currently showing, so hopefully you’ll enjoy it.”

 

“I’m sure that I will, you’re both good at picking out movies,” Ace smiles back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I think I’m going to take a nap.”

 

“Sleep well, Ace,” Marco says softly. “If you need anything, you’re more than welcome to call us and we’ll help you in any way that we can.”

 

“Thanks guys, I’ll keep you up to date. Have a good day,” Ace waves as they both hurry off, leaving him alone on the bench. He waits until they’re out of sight to drop his hand and his smile falling off of his face. “I, I’m so fucked.”

 

He wants to do something, anything to force that horrible feeling away from him, but his normal option of going on a run was out since his lungs were currently growing flowers and he could barely breathe when doing exercise. He wants to do something other than stare at things while it hurts him so much.

 

“I wish I could change this.”

* * *

  
  


Sabo sighs heavily as Marco’s phone rings, shifting to lay against the other armrest, “If you are going to answer that, it better not be in here. I need to know who’s getting married so that I can tell Koala how badly suited that they are and give her reasons.”

 

“I’m sure that you will have perfect reasons,” Marco agrees kissing Sabo’s cheek as he stands up and snatches his phone from the coffee table before moving into the kitchen. “Hello Vista.”

 

Vista snorts, “Took you long enough. If I interrupted something, don’t tell me.”

 

“Sabo’s watching that show that he’s secretly addicted to and won’t admit it, but he argues about with his co-workers all the time,” Marco rolls his eyes leaning back against the counter. “Why, what’s going on?”

 

“You saw Ace today, didn’t you?” Vista asks. Marco thinks that Vista sounds almost concerned, but the connection isn’t as good as it normally is and Marco has never been good at reading his brother’s emotions.

 

“We had lunch together. He said that Rayleigh had given him time off because he’s been overworking himself, which is good, he’s looking a little sick.”

 

“Ace got time off because of something going on with his family.”

 

Marco stops, his heart stopping in his chest, “He said what?”

 

“Ace got time off because he’s having something going on with his family,” Vista repeats sounding more confused. “I talked to Rayleigh about it and he said that it’s nothing important but if he’s told you that he’s just been given time off…”

 

“He’s lying about something,” Marco finishes. “Do we know anything about what’s going on in Ace’s life? I mean, he’s told Sabo and I a few things here or there but I haven’t heard anything that would need him to take any sort of time off.”

 

Vista sighs, muffled like he’s rubbing his hand over his face, “So there’s something going on? Because none of this sounds like something that Ace would do without there being a reason; he’s never done anything without a reason.”

 

“He’s got a reason, even if we don’t know what that reason is. He told you that he has time off because there’s something going on with his family?” Marco asks frowning at his shoes in thought.

 

“I’m very certain of that. Rayleigh confirmed it, but he looked a little distracted? I think he knows what’s going on, but I’m not sure what it could be. I can try and see if anyone else knows anything when I go in tomorrow.”

 

“And I’ll try and get more information out of Ace when we go to the movies tomorrow, hopefully he’ll be able to tell us something more than what he mentioned yesterday,” Marco feels hopeless, because this is Ace. Ace never tells anyone more than he has to. “Vista, has Ace been looking off color or acting strangely?”

 

Vista hums, soft and thoughtful, “I think, if I remember correctly, Ace’s been a little short of breath and coughing more recently when we were in surgeries. It’s been worrying some of the other surgeons because they don’t want him to infect anyone.”

 

“Thank you, Vista. I’ll see if I can get anything from him tomorrow; keep me up to date if you find anything else out, won’t you?”

 

“Of course. Have a good night, and good luck.”

 

Marco stares blankly at the window into their backyard, arms crossed over his chest as he tries to collect his thoughts, chest aching at the thought of Ace lying to them all for some unknown reason. That there was something that Ace wouldn’t tell them.

 

“Marco?” Marco turns, catching sight of Sabo hovering in the doorway, “Are you alright? You didn’t come back when you were finished with your phone call, I thought that you would come back but it’s been over half an hour. Did something happen to your dad?”

 

“Pops is fine,” Marco assures him, lifting his arm to let Sabo press in against his side.

 

“Then what’s wrong?” Sabo frowns, not reacting when Marco rested his chin on Sabo’s head, staring out into the yard too. “You look concerned.”

 

“That was Vista, he saw Ace at work today and wanted to know what sort of family issues would cause him to take time off of work.”

 

“Ace was given time off because he’s been overworking himself,” Sabo says in confusion.

 

Marco shakes his head, taking care not to put more pressure so it didn’t grind his chin against his skull, “Not according to the hospital. Rayleigh and Ace both told Vista that it was for family reasons, which means that Ace lied.”

 

“Why would Ace lie? We wouldn’t care if he had family situations that were causing him trouble, we’re his friends. We want to help him, we always would help him.”

 

“I don’t know why he hadn’t said anything to us about it. It doesn’t make much sense, does it?”

 

“No, we’re his friends. I, we love him.”

 

Marco rubs his hand down Sabo’s arm, kissing the top of his head, “I know. We love him and we want to care for him, but Ace is allowed to have his secrets, it’s not like he’s dating us.”

 

“He could.”

 

“He could,” Marco agrees softly. Ace could date them and Marco would be so, so happy to have him. Sabo would feel the same. “But he isn’t, so we’ll have to do what we can to make sure he knows that we’re going to be there for him when he needs us.”

 

“Do you think that will be enough? He never tells us much and you know that we’re not good with emotions. The only reason you even noticed something was wrong was because Ace looked more tired than he normally does.”

 

“We can try, it’s better than nothing, isn’t it?” Marco mutters sighing tiredly. “Come on, let’s go lay down and relax. If we worry too much then we won’t be able to sleep and we’ll be too tired for the movie with Ace tomorrow.”

 

Sabo yawns, pressing further into Marco’s side, “Think Ace will like it? I know we picked it based off the other movies he liked, but will he?”

 

“I’m sure he’ll like it. He always likes going to the movies.”

 

At least he had said as much when Marco had been waiting with him in the theater while Sabo went to the bathroom. Marco always made sure to ask Ace if he liked things, making mental notes of what he did and what he didn’t, even if Ace was less vocal about what he didn’t like.

 

“If Ace was sick, he would tell us, wouldn’t he?”

 

Marco blinks, glancing at Sabo in confusion, “Of course he would. Ace wouldn’t keep something like that from us, it’s far too important. He’s not going to pretend he’s perfectly fine when he’s sick,” Marco waits until Sabo nods before ducking his head to look at his dresser, because he didn’t know that for sure. He wanted it to be true, but he didn’t have proof that it was or wasn’t.

 

“We should sneak in those cookies he likes,” Sabo says dragging Marco’s attention back over to him. “You know the ones that make him smile like he’s never been happier? Maybe that will help cheer him up.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

It wasn’t much, just cookies, but maybe it would help. After all, then Ace would know that they were thinking about him and maybe he would tell them what was going on then. He wanted Ace to tell them how they could help, even if it was just to be there when he needed a friend. They would do anything in their power to help him as long as he let them.

 

* * *

  
  


“You’re late,” Ace grins, and Marco feels guilty that he’s trying to decide if it’s fake or not, at them pushing off from where he had been leaning against the outer wall of the movie theater. “I thought I was going to have to call and ask if you were really come to meet me.”

 

Sabo laughs, “We were getting some things at the store and lost track of time. Come on, Marco already got the tickets and we still need to get soda and popcorn.”

 

“Pretzel,” Marco adds, throwing an arm around Ace’s shoulder like he always did, saying nothing when Ace’s back stiffened but didn’t pull away. “Do you want any other snacks, Ace?”

 

“Nah, I’m good with popcorn. Plus we get free refills, so I can eat as much of it as I want without eating myself out of all my money.”

 

“I’m buying the snacks today, thank you,” Sabo states pulling a face that reminded Marco of the one time he had the misfortune of meeting Sabo’s parents. “I got a bonus at work and I’m going to use it to spoil my two favorite people.”

 

That is fake, Marco decides when Ace laughs softly, smile too wide and something awkward in the curve of it. Which meant, Marco hoped it meant, that the one when he had seen them walking up had been real. This would be so much easier if he was more talented with emotions, which he had never been. Sabo was better but there was only so much that he could tell.

 

“You don’t have to,” Ace says softly when they finally get in line to make their purchases. “I don’t mind having to get my own things.”

 

“I’m gonna kick you in the shins if you keep saying that. I want to spend my money on you and you should let me. It’s my prerogative.”

 

Marco doesn’t know what to make of the face that Ace pulls and it makes something cold settle in his chest because he wants to know. He wants to know what it means when Ace’s brows draw together and what he’s trying to hide. Maybe Ace will never love them the way that they love him, but that didn’t mean that they would ever stop being there for him. They were  _ friends _ . 

 

“You’re being a space case,” Sabo states softly after Ace had hurried ahead to claim their seats, instead of waiting for their snacks. “What’s wrong now?”

 

“We’re friends.”

 

“Marco,” Sabo sighs and Marco feels like this is a talk that they should be having when they aren’t surrounded by other people. “Light of my life, of course we’re his friends, but that doesn’t mean that we own him. It doesn’t mean that he has to tell us everything and you know that. We don’t own him anymore than we could own your brothers.”

 

“They’re my brothers, he’s our friend. He’s the only one that we’ve ever even considered,” Marco tries to smile when the cashier pushes their order towards them, cutting himself off because he hates having others overhear his problems, waiting until they have stepped away to talk. “We tell him so much more than he’s told us.”

 

“It’s not an even exchange, Marco. You know that. He doesn’t know what is happening and he treats us like someone would treat their friends, that’s what we are. I’m pretty sure he talks to us more than he did his last boyfriend, or the girl that he dated briefly before that.”

 

Marco rolls his eyes, wanting to argue, but there’s Ace, waving excited from their seats like they won’t be able to see him, smiling brightly as he bounces in his seat excitedly. Marco is fairly certain that he loves that look on Ace’s face as much as he does when Sabo’s expression is similar.

 

“I had to kick someone to save your seats,” Ace says seriously and Marco snickers. “I even got smacked by some little old lady with a cane.”

 

“Our brave defender,” Sabo smiles and hands Ace his drink and popcorn. “I hope that these items will restore your health.”

 

Ace grins, Marco is going to have to stop trying to tell if it’s real or not, it’s killing him, “Thanks Sabo, are you sure that I can-”

 

“Say one more word about paying me back and I’ll tell you how the movie ends.”

 

“Your boyfriend is being mean to me, Marco!”

 

Marco bites back his initial remark, “He’s a mean person. Why do you think I keep offering to trade him to you? It’s so I don’t have to deal with his cruel, cruel words.”

 

“I’m going to trade you in for a younger model,” Sabo retorts, smirking as he forces Ace to move, forcing him into the middle seat. “I think you’re getting too old, old man.”

 

“I’m three years older than you!”

 

Ace chuckles, it’s not a real laugh, but it’s almost there, eyes sparking with something that seems to brighten his whole face and Marco is so glad to have helped put it there.

 

“What is this movie even about?” Ace asks as Marco takes a seat on his left. “You just said that we were going to the movies and you gave me a title, but I forgot it.”

 

“One of those action movies you love,” Marco answers, taking the package of cookies out as the lights dim. “Don’t forget these, Ace.”

 

“Thanks Marco,” Ace whispers looking at him for a long moment, like he’s considering something before facing forward, his shoulders dropping like he’s failed. “Don’t forget to turn your phone to silent.”

 

“That was an accident,” Sabo mutters darkly prodding his phone to life and thumbing down the volume. “You forget your volume and no one ever lets you forget it.”

 

“More than once,” Marco adds softly.

 

“Shush,” Ace bounces in his seat as the commercials start, because Ace was the kind of person that thought the commercials counted as part of the movie. “It’s starting!”

 

Marco shifts slightly, letting his arm brush against Ace’s and relaxing when he doesn’t pull back from the touch, heart throbbing in his chest as he glances beside him and smiles softly, Ace’s eyes wide and reflecting the screen as he leans forward excitedly. Watching movies with Ace was always an experience and watching Ace watch the movie was one of Marco’s favorite things about it. 

 

Ace was always expressive and when he got drawn in by the story, there was always something about the way he seemed to  _ feel _ everything that the characters did. He tilts his gaze back to the screen as Ace pouts at the lack of popcorn left in his container.

 

“Finished already?” Marco whispers when Ace shifts next to him as if to stand.

 

“I didn’t mean to,” Ace mutters and it’s too dark to see if he’s blushing, but Marco thinks that he might be. “I was just going to get a refill.”

 

“I’ll take it. I have to go to the bathroom, if you trust me enough to wash my hands. That way only one of us misses some of the movie.”

 

Ace shifts, glancing between the screen and Marco for a long moment, lip bitten between his teeth before he nods, pushing the bucket into Marco’s hands, “Thank you.”

  
“You’re welcome.”

 

He makes sure to check if Sabo needs anything, he doesn’t and Marco thinks he’ll be good for the entire movie unless he gives Ace his popcorn while they wait for him to get back. In which case, he’ll wait a bit before going and make sure that he convinced Ace to stay. It had been Sabo’s idea after all, since he insisted that Marco had done the same thing when they had first started dating, not that Marco remembered it that way. But Sabo also seems to have some idea that if they do enough, if they’re enticing enough and kind enough, than Ace will fall in love with them, which Marco hasn’t figured out just yet.

 

Marco frowns at a flower petal stuck to the bottom of his shoe, kneeling down to bring it closer. It was pretty, if oddly placed, vibrantly purple with white veins. Maybe someone had brought it in from outside by accident. He slides it into his pocket, he could find a garbage can later, it wouldn’t do to leave it on the floor for anyone to pick up.

 

“Hello?” Marco asks sharply, balancing his phone as he accepted the popcorn. “Sorry, thank you. Vista, why are you calling me?”

 

“Has Ace said anything yet?” Vista asks curiously. “You were suppose to meet up with him today weren’t you? How is it?”

 

“We’re watching a movie; there isn’t really much time to speak to someone when you’re movie watching. Sabo made us late with picking up some things at the store.”

 

“I don’t need to know if you need condoms.”

 

“Cookies for Ace, you ass. Since they’re his favorite.”

 

Vista snorts, “You’re both far too head over heels over him. Let me know if anything changes please, Marco. Pops is getting worried too, you know. We want to be kept up to date.”

 

“Yes, yes,” Marco says tiredly rolling his eyes. “Now, I have to go, please don’t do anything that will cause trouble.”

  
“I’m at work, it’s not my job to get into trouble. I’ll leave that to Thatch and Haruta this week. Good luck.”

 

“Thank you,” Marco sighs tiredly, letting Vista lead them through their goodbyes and sliding his phone back into his pocket. He takes a step closer and watches the doorway for a long moment before stepping through.

 

Vista had reminded him that they didn’t know what was happening with Ace and he had been happy ignoring the niggling worry that hadn’t left him since Vista had called him the day before to let him know that Ace had been  _ lying _ to them.

 

“Are you okay?” Ace whispers, distracted from the movie and Marco feels guilty for a long moment. “You look sad.”

 

“I’m fine, Ace,” Marco lets their hands brush together and pretends that the slight red flush on Ace’s cheeks is more than his imagination. “Watch the movie, you know Sabo will want to talk about it when it’s over.”

 

Ace nods, turning back to the movie and getting lost in it before Marco even sits back down. It’s adorable, both Ace and Sabo, the way they lean forward in their seats and how expressive their faces get as the action on screen occurs. Marco loves seeing it and he was always so concerned that he would miss out on it again because Ace found out about their stupid crush.

 

“Ugh,” Sabo groans as he collapses back against his seat, his hands thrown up in the air as the credits play. Marco smiles at him, because Sabo is always at his most expressive when he’s passionate and Marco can almost imagine him being more passionate than usual about this movie. Something seems to have set him off. “Hanahaki cures? They made a whole subplot about a cure that didn’t take falling in love or cutting it out?”

 

“Is that so bad?” Ace asks slowly and Marco wishes he could see his face. “Sometimes it’s better to have the chance to love someone than to lose them forever. The memory will always be dulled by the fact that they mean nothing afterwards.”

 

“Not for that reason,” Sabo says quickly, looking at Ace and then looking back at the screen quickly, not wanting to stare for too long, Marco’s sure. “I mean, it’s horrible to do that to the people watching. Think about it ,Ace; what if you fell in love and that was what you had to look forward to and then this, this movie does that to you? Makes you think, oh, here is someone making my choices and it’s not some epic romance or some great tragedy, just someone doing what they normally do only for  _ this _ .”

 

“Sabo, love, you know you’re a bit too passionate about this, calm down. I know that this is something that you get upset about-”

 

“You do?”

 

Sabo nods seriously, because he does, Marco learned that early on when they started dating and it’s only fair that Ace learn it early on too. Even if they aren’t dating him.

 

“It’s wrong to treat a disease with such lasting consequences as something that can just be brushed aside. You have three options,” Sabo hisses holding up corresponding fingers and tapping each in turn. “You might be so, so very lucky and have them return your feelings. You might die,” Something in Sabo seems to pause because that one hurts. “You could die because you love someone so much, or you get to lose all those feelings. You even lose your friendship. There’s no winning if they don’t love you back and it’s not  _ fair _ . Meanwhile, you get to choke on flowers!”

 

“What would you do?” Ace asks after a long moment, the theater still clearing out and something akin to silence falling around them. Like the room is muffled and distorted. “If you had hanahaki, what would you do?”

 

Marco tilts his head thoughtfully, because honestly, he’s never thought of it. What would he do if he had hanahaki? Would he confess? Would he die- Marco pauses, “I would confess, unless they were in love with someone else or maybe in a relationship. Not everyone is okay with polyamory and sometimes, it hurts someone more to tell them how you feel. I couldn’t leave my family like that; dying for someone I love isn’t an option that I can take. So, confess or cut it out.”

 

“Die,” Sabo smiles sadly and Marco had figured as much as Ace jerks in his seat. “I’m not going to give someone up because they don’t love me back; it’s something that’s gotten me into trouble before now and probably will again.”

 

“What about you, Ace?”

 

“Remove it. If they can’t love me, or like Marco said, they’re already taken and it wouldn’t work. I would have it cut out. I promised Luffy that I wouldn’t leave him and I could never leave him when he needs me.”

 

“You would tell us,” Marco says slowly, for one horrible second fearing something that he doesn’t want to put a name to, “If you had hanahaki? Wouldn’t you?”

 

Ace smiles and Marco can’t tell if this is fake because it looks so real but what if he’s wrong? “I wouldn’t lie.”

 

“Good. If you got hanahaki, we want to be there for you. You’re important to us.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Ace chokes on flower petals, his hand filling up with broken pieces of flowers as he kneels just inside the door to the apartment, so glad to have gotten the door shut so that no one outside could see this. It’s painful, burning worse than bile on the inside of his throat as he tries to stop, heart throbbing in his chest. He used to think that this was the easy part, the choking and the pain, but apparently it’s just as painful as the others parts were.

 

“Fuck,” Ace gasps, trying to breathe as it finally stops  _ aching _ . He doesn’t dare take a deeper breath; he can’t bring himself to do it, not when he’s only just stopped coughing. “It hurts.”

 

There’s longer purple petals shot through with white streaks and the smaller ones in blue, white, and yellow, both mixed together and making something almost pretty.

 

“You know,” Ace flinches, because he was hoping to avoid this. To keep from having to see Law again until it was time for his next appointment. “I seem to remember that you promised me to call when you started to cough up flower petals.”

 

“I said that I would have Luffy do it,” Ace answers feeling it burn in his chest. It burns and he can almost feel the roots clawing and clinging to his lungs and digging outwardly to reach his heart.

 

Law frowns harder as he kneels down in front of Ace, one hand going to his wrist to measure his heartbeat and the other pressing to his chest and ensuring that it’s rising and falling without issue, “And when was Luffy going to be given this update? He’s been giving me hourly updates, you know. He would have mentioned this if he knew that you were.”

 

“I’m not a child. I was going to tell him tomorrow morning.”

 

“I’m sure.”

 

Ace makes a face, pulling a flower petal from his mouth, “I was. I, I figured that a day wouldn’t make that much of a difference.”

 

“The second you start coughing up flower petals, you need to start on a medication that slows the progress down enough to give you the months that you want. You love them and I understand that; I also understand that you want to spend time with them while you still love them, but Ace, you need to think about your own health.”

 

“I am thinking about it.”

 

“I’m sure that’s what you think,” Law states forcing Ace to his feet and Ace wants nothing more to go hide in his room where he can ignore this. Where he can pretend that nothing is happening and, Ace closes his hand around the petals, find out what he’s coughing up. “I’ll move your appointment when I go in tomorrow, I expect you to show up at the time that I text you, or so help me, I will have you placed on bedrest, Portgas.”

 

“You’re a vicious little fucker.”

 

“I’m also taller than you,” Law says dropping him on the couch with more care than Ace was expecting. It’s uncomfortable. “Can I see those?”

 

“See them?”

 

“To see how complete they are. Some people don’t start coughing up petals until fairly late in the disease and by keeping track of that, I can tell if we need to up our time table.”

 

Ace’s heart stutters in his chest as he carefully, slowly, inches his fist closer and unfolds his fingers, showing off the petals. Law leans closer, eyes narrowing as he studies them, his nose wrinkling and Ace doesn’t know what that means, “That doesn’t look like a good face.”

 

“They’re fairly intact,” Law returns, frowning at the petals. “Which means that it’s progressed further than we thought it had. Are you sure you only noticed you were having trouble breathing roughly a month ago?”

 

“I had the flu for almost two weeks before that.”

 

Law stops, pinching the bridge of his nose as he takes a slow breath. Ace wonders why before he catches the look on Law’s face, “We have two weeks, most likely. We’ll check that when you come in tomorrow,” He glares at Ace. “I mean it, tomorrow.”

 

“Tomorrow,” Ace agrees tiredly. “Do you still need me or-?”

 

Law waves him off, collapsing back onto the couch and obviously waiting for Luffy, “Get, you’re just going to make things awkward if you stick around, Portgas. Luffy’s been calling me non-stop like he thinks that I can cure hanahaki.”

 

“He thinks you can do anything and you know it. He thinks the same of all his friends.”

 

“You aren’t allowed to try to make me feel better when I have had your younger brother crying into my shoulder for hours because you fell in love,” Law pauses. “He wants you to be happy and he doesn’t understand why you won’t tell ‘whoever’ it is because ‘they have to love Ace’.”

 

“Luffy keeps saying that, but I doubt that.”

 

Law opens his mouth like he’s going to say something but Ace doesn’t want to hear what he’s going to say; he doesn’t want to hear about how he should admit that he’s in love with Sabo and Marco, should force that pain on them when he knows that  _ they don’t love him back _ . Some days, Ace can barely bare to keep his promises to meet up with them. To be their friend.

 

He stands, hand curling into a fist to keep the petals from falling from his grasp and hurrying from the room, feeling more like he was retreating than he was just walking away. He drops onto his bed, burying his face into his pillow for a long minute as he hears Luffy shouting for ‘Traffy to hurry up!’. He waits for the door to slam shut to glance at his closed fist and the petals trying to spill from between his fingers.

 

His phone is hard to fumble from his pocket as he wiggles and reaches across his body to dig through his pocket before making a muffled sound of triumph and waking it up and tapping in the description of the first petal.

 

Blue, white, and yellow flowers get him nothing remotely similar enough on google, but flowers that are blue, white, and yellow has a little more luck. Several rows down there’s a flower that almost looks right, Ace taps on it and grins when he finds a picture of another flower that matches perfectly: a pansy. He can’t resist looking up what they mean, because he’s always been weak and he’s not sure which one of them it could mean.

 

**_Blue_ ** _ equals calmness and trustworthiness. _

 

“Marco,” he whispers decidedly, rubbing a soft thumb over the pansy petal because Sabo is anything but calm, for all that he might be trustworthy. He takes a breath and looks up the next because he doesn’t have time to focus on just the one yet.

 

Purple flowers with white middles gets him nothing and neither does purple flowers with white borders. Ace sighs and tries another handful of searches, trying to think of new ways to describe it that made sense. Purple flowers gets him another answer, and Ace wonders why his flowers are so hard to track down now, as he looks at the gladiolus for a long moment before looking up it’s meaning too.

 

_ Gladiolus symbolizes strength of character, faithfulness and honor. _

 

Ace wants to laugh because they’re perfect. They’re perfect for Sabo and Marco and Ace hates them. He hates them so much because these flowers have ruined  _ everything _ for him. He’s going to lose two of the most important important people that he’s had in a long time beyond his brother and he couldn’t keep them. He was never going to care about them again and that burns.

 

He presses his palm to one of his eyes and scrubs tiredly because it’s too much and painful. He’s going to be alone again, just him and Luffy, and he loves Luffy, but Luffy would always love him, they’re brothers.

 

And if he can’t feel for Marco and Sabo again, how is he supposed to keep his friends, most of whom are related to Marco? He can’t do that to them, which is why he knows that he’s going to have to get a transfer. And only him; Luffy has a life here and Ace can’t force him to leave and lose his friends, not when Luffy cares about them so much.

 

Ace takes a deep breath and ignores the way his chest aches and his eyes feel overheated as he slides his finger over Rayleigh’s name and listens to it ringing, trying not to sound too upset when Rayleigh finally answers the phone call. “Hey Ray, I’m gonna need another favor.”

 

* * *

  
  
  


Ace doesn’t look up as Law looks at the newest scans that he had been forced to take, staring at his feet as he waits for Law to finally say something, anything.

 

“It’s more advanced than we thought,” Law says finally, looking tired. “Even with the medication that I want to start you on, it’s likely you have a week before you have to have it cut out or allow yourself to die. It’s--I am sorry, Ace.”

 

“Stop calling me by my first name; I’m not stupid enough not to notice you only use it when you’re trying to help me. Or when you feel guilty,” Ace states hands wrinkling the paper on the bed. “It’s no one’s fault but mine.”

 

“I don’t think you can stop yourself from falling in love, Portgas,” Law rolls his eyes but Ace feels better when Law treats him normally. “I think that I would know that better than anyone, but we do need to start getting things planned. Do you have a preferred surgeon?”

 

Ace kicks his feet and finally looks up. “I’m friends with most of them because of my job and even more so with Vista since he’s one of Marco’s brothers. I don’t think that I could pick or that they could do it for me.”

 

“I’ll talk to them then. You’ll need to take the new prescription that I’ll be giving you today religiously. That will keep the growth from speeding up or changing; I don’t want you to die because it became worse.”

 

“I’ll take them,” Ace promises, accepting the script and biting back a cough, something soft and too strange moving against his throat. “Thanks, Trafalgar, I’ll keep you up to date.”

 

He feels like he’s in a daze as he walks out the building, everything around him muffled and just slightly moving to the side and twisting incomprehensibly as he tries to drag himself back, to regain his focus on things. To make the world come back to him the way that it normally does because  _ he thought he had longer. _ He thought there was more time to get used to the idea of losing Marco and Sabo and now, now he’s got less than seven days.

 

How is he supposed to get through this, with less than a week before he breaks his own heart and then forgets the feeling? Until all he has are the dulled memories of how this felt while the rest of his friends and family suffer the changes that it will make in Ace and his personality?

 

“Ace!” Luffy bounces into him and Ace stumbles, trying to catch Luffy and keep hold of the prescription. “Traffy said that you looked sad and that I should come see you!”

 

Ace huffs, something that may have been a laugh once, but his feeling were too scrambled, his heart too much like lead in his chest to try and feel anything but the ache that is overwhelming it. “I”m fine, Lu. You shouldn’t have come.”

 

“But Ace’s my brother and Ace is sad. You shouldn’t be sad just because your stupid flowers are going to hurt you,” Luffy tells him, sounding like he knows what he’s talking about. “Are you sure you can’t tell that person about the bad flowers? Maybe you’re wrong!”

 

“Telling someone will hurt them more than just getting them removed.”

 

Luffy frowns, “But-”

 

“I have to get my medicine,” Ace says, trying to convince Luffy to stop until they’re not in public anymore. He doesn’t need to deal with more attention being shoved at him. “You can come with me, if you don’t start this up again.”

 

“Ace.”

 

Ace knows that Luffy is trying to make him talk, trying to find out something to keep Ace from going into that surgery on Tuesday, and Ace can’t believe it’s Wednesday and he’s almost at the end of everything. Nothing is going to be the same and Ace almost wishes he was one of those people who fell in love at a distance, never had a relationship with the person, people, that have caused this to happen. At least then he wouldn’t have so much to loose.

 

He glances slowly to where Luffy is still pouting and his heart gives an unpleasant squeeze because he hasn’t told Luffy about the move. About the transfer or that he won’t be around for very long after his surgery. He didn’t want to hurt him with that knowledge. It wasn’t fair to Luffy and Ace knew it. After all, Luffy was still upset that he wouldn’t tell them, he knew that Luffy would never forgive him for this either.

 

“Do you want to go to the zoo when we’re done getting my medicine?” Ace asks finally because he knows that Luffy loves the zoo. Loves to see all the animals and trying to climb into the gator pit, at least until they were banned for two years for it. “I think we might not be banned currently.”

 

“We can?” Luffy asks excitedly, eyes wide and bright. God, Ace is going to break him. “Hurry Ace, we have to hurry!”

 

“I’m moving as fast as I can, Luffy,” Ace laughs and tries to push aside the feeling of guilt welling up in his chest. Maybe it would have been better if he had inherited his father’s illness instead of hanahaki. At least then, it wouldn’t leave behind someone that both was and wasn’t Ace. Who wouldn’t ever be the person that had friends who cared about him. “You think we can make it backstage in the tiger section before they catch us?”

 

* * *

  
  
  


“You look sad,” Luffy says softly, watching Ace try to force himself to smile, try to smile in a way that makes his face less upset. “You gotta make a happier face.”

 

“I think this is happiest face that I can make.” Ace takes a deep breath and tries again, forcing his smile to hold and making it more enthusiastic, but it falls short, just like all of his other attempts have. “How am I supposed to meet them for anything if I can’t smile?”

 

“Maybe you can put on a fake smile? Or,” Luffy grins. “You can borrow mine!”

 

“You can’t borrow someone else’s smile, Lu. It’s not possible, no matter what you might think. Smiles belong to people and can’t be given to someone else like a hug.”

 

“That’s not fair,” Luffy mutters with a pout.

 

Ace snorts, counting the four days left in his head, “Not everything is fair,” He can feel his hands curling into fists and his heart throbbing in pain that  _ burns _ . “It’s just how life is, Lu.”

 

“Life should be fair, like in the movies. Where the bad things never win?”

 

“Aw, don’t worry, Luffy. I’m sure that it’ll get better,” Ace is a liar and a coward, he’s always known that. He still can’t tell Luffy about after. “Now, I’m going to meet with Marco and Sabo. We, I’ve only got two more times, counting this one, to see them. I can’t resist seeing them.”

 

“Why would you?” Luffy asks curiously. “They’re important to you, You wanna see people who are important to you.”

 

“You would think so, wouldn’t you Lu?” Ace musses his hair, trying to smile at him again; it feels more real when it’s for him. “Make sure that you have a good time while I’m gone.”

 

“Have a good time, Ace!” Luffy waves and Ace shakes his head as he closes the door. His little brother is something else.

 

Ace takes more time to get to the meet up than he used to,  with his chest aching and his breath coming harder and faster than it should, with the flowers growing in his chest. It’s going to be impossible to make it if he doesn’t take his time and go as slow as he can. Even if he’s late.

 

“You look worse,” Sabo states, frowning at Ace, moving closer to look him over. “Are you coming down with something? Ace, you look worse than you have ever looked before.”

 

“I’m fine,” Ace lies, smiling, and he knows that Sabo doesn’t believe him. “I’m not even feeling sick.”

 

Marco steps closer, pausing with his hand lifted, “May I?”

 

“Sure, but I’m not sick, Marco.”

 

“I’m sure you think you aren’t,” Marco agrees, pressing the back of his hand to Ace’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever, but that doesn’t mean anything with illnesses. Have you gone to the hospital or even the doctor’s?”

 

“I’ve been to the doctor’s, and you know that Trafalgar wouldn’t let me wander around without being healthy. You know him.”

 

Ace wants to say that they don’t look convinced, but Marco lowers his hand, even as he keeps looking at him. Ace tries to look like he’s going to be fine, as if he’s not having a problem with anything. He hopes it’s enough, enough to fool them until it’s too late.

 

“Come on,” Sabo says finally, hands coming up to press against Ace’s side, “We’re having a picnic and you should sit down. You look dead on your feet still and we want you to settle down and rest.”

 

“Picnic?”Ace asks in confusion. “I thought we were going to the park and then the arboretum?”

 

“We were going to bring a picnic to begin with,” Marco answers, pressing close to Ace’s other side and Ace can feel  _ something _ vibrate inside his chest and the urge to cough welling up from too deep inside him. “But we thought that it would be best to eat first, with how you’ve been looking.”

 

“I’ve been looking fine,” Ace tries to insist, his smile coming readily.

 

“You don’t look fine at all,” Sabo takes a breath, his hands going tighter. “You look pale and sick and,” Sabo meets Ace’s eyes, “you look like you’re going to die and you haven’t said anything about the plans we wanted to invite you on next week. And these last minute ones, we weren’t going to hangout tomorrow.”

 

Ace can feel his heart aching because of course they would notice, “I just have plans for next week and I don’t know how well I can coordinate them all.”

 

“Well, I’m sure you’ll keep us up to date,” Marco mutters, helping Ace to sit down on the blanket that they have spread out.

 

“You know that I will,” Ace swallows and tries to pretend that he doesn’t have to cough. That the flower petals aren’t piling up in his throat and trying to make their way out of his mouth. He’s not going to win this round, he knows it.

 

He can’t walk away now, he can’t leave them without being more suspicious than he’s been recently, and he’s begun coughing up too many petals to hide in his hands. Too many to even try to keep someone from noticing, not when Marco and Sabo are watching him so closely. When they haven’t moved their eyes from him and are taking turns looking away from him.

 

“Ace, we care about you,” Marco says softly, smiling softly and it hurts. It hurts so much. “We’re here for you.”

 

Ace doubles over, coughing, his hands filling with petals and spilling over onto the blanket. It hurts, burning his throat and he can hear the startled sounds that Marco and Sabo make. The petals are spilling everywhere and it’s impossible for them to miss, he knows that they can’t.

 

“Relax,” Ace can’t breath, coughing too much, as Marco’s hand rubs against his back. “Relax Ace, let them all spill out and breath. That’s it, there you go.”

 

“S-sorry,” Ace gasps, his hands curling around the petals, even though he knows it won’t hide them; there’s too many and they’ve spilled onto the ground too. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

 

“Ace,” Sabo’s voice is quiet and his hand is soft on Ace’s arm. “Ace, how long have you been this sick?”

 

“I’m not,” He knows that it’s a lie, they have to know that it’s a lie. No one can miss what he just did. “I’m-”

 

“Ace, tell us the truth, please?” Marco asks and it’s almost more painful that he’s talking so softly. That he won’t yell at Ace and demand answers. It would be so much easier if they just demanded answers. “We just want to know what is happening.”

 

“I, I fell in love with someone that won’t, can’t love me back-”

 

“Who?” Sabo demands, and the look on his face is almost rage. Something dangerous and, Ace blinks slowly, because it’s almost like pain? “Who won’t love you back? They’re going to let you die!”

 

Ace shakes his head, “I’m cutting it out. It’s, that’s why I wanted to spend more time with you. Before it’s cut out of me forever.”

 

“Because it’s us,” Marco finishes with more certainty than Ace was expecting. “That’s why you haven’t said anything. Why you won’t confirm plans beyond the end of the week, because by then, we won’t matter to you.”

 

“Ace?”

 

“Please, please don’t ask me that.”

 

Marco’s grip on him tightens, “Ace, if this is over us. If this is because of us, we want to know. We,” Marco pulls him closer and Ace closes his eyes because it hurts. “We love you, Ace.”

 

“That’s not-”

 

“We love you,” Sabo says forcefully, his hands grasping Ace’s. “We’ve been in love with you for ages, don’t you dare,” Ace blinks as Sabo’s eyes get soft and wet. “Don’t you dare.”

 

* * *

  
  


“Well,” Law says, smirking as he looks at the x-rays that Bepo had taken of Ace’s chest. “They’re certainly unravelling. It looks like you’ll be completely cured in just a few more weeks. Of course,” He glances at Ace whose face darkens, ducking his head. “You will have to return every week until it’s completely cured.”

 

Ace scowls at him. “You just like knowing that you’ve learned even more about hanahaki from this.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that’s wrong, but it’s not the only reason. Luffy knew. That you wouldn’t stay if you got the hanahaki cut out. He knew you couldn’t and he was crying because the only reason that you wouldn’t tell him would be if you weren’t going to bring him with you.”

 

“I couldn’t take him from his friends.”

 

“I know. But it still upset him,” Law sighs. “Continue taking your medication, but as soon as you’re finished and there’s nothing else in your lungs, then you won’t have to see me until your next check up, Portgas.”

 

“I’d be grateful for it, Trafalgar. Staring at your face all the time is killer.”

 

Law snorts, “Get out of here. I have other patients to look after you know; you can’t take up all my time.”

 

Ace laughs, pausing with his hand on the door, “Law,” Law hums. “Thank you, for looking out for me and for Luffy.”

 

“Luffy is my friend; of course I’d be there for him.”

 

“See you next week, doc,” Ace waves, before moving slowly down the hallway.

 

Sabo bounces to his feet as Ace re-enters the waiting room, his lower lip caught between his teeth, as if worried that Ace would have relapsed. Terrified that Ace would have hanahaki once more. Marco barely glances up from his book, but Ace can read the nerves in the set of his shoulders and he smiles.

 

“I’m recovering.”

 

Sabo smiles and Marco’s shoulders seem to relax, both of them moving to direct him out the office, firmly between them.

 

“We were thinking,” Sabo says when they step outside, frowning and narrowing his eyes at the too bright sun. “That since our last date to the arboretum ended so horribly, that we could try it again. To see if it goes a little better.”

 

“I don’t think it counts as a date if I didn’t know it was a date,” Ace says, grinning back at him.

 

“It does,” Marco states, leaning in to kiss him. “We took a vote and it was two against one, which means it was a date.”

 

“I demand a recount,” Ace mutters, blushing darkly, like he always did when he was kissed. “Everyone knows that you can’t date someone without their knowledge and consent.”

 

“The polls are closed,” Sabo says stealing a kiss for himself. “We thank the voters for their time, but the results are in.”

 

Ace laughs, tugging them back down to kiss them again. “You’re gonna lose in the next poll. My vote counts for two in the next election.” He ignores the mock outrage from them both, bouncing ahead with another laugh. “Race you home!”

 

Marco sighs, “And we fell in love with him.”

 

“We knew what we were getting into,” Sabo says speeding up. “Come on, our boyfriend is going to beat us home and pick tonight’s movie. I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand one more monster movie.”

 

“We better go get him then.”


End file.
